Raising a child is one of the most annoying, frustrating, worrisome, time consuming, head scratching pursuits that a parent can experience. It’s also the most repeatedly rewarding and unselfish gift one can give to oneself. It’s like a thousand Christmases interspersed around 100 Super Bowl losses. From the time you first tuck them into bed to the day they graduate or marry, you have a chance to mold this giggling little angel into a responsible, honest, and good young adult and while you can teach a child millions of skills, answers, and lessons, they will never learn so much as they do from watching you as a parent.
Raising a child can be expensive. Early on, you will spend thousands on cribs and bassinettes and strollers and diapers! Oh my lord, diapers! Additionally, there are clothes and selected sports participation and school and birthday parties and bicycles and cell phones. In 2015, the cost range of raising a child was $78,000 - $150,000 xcluding any private school or child care costs. [1] In 2024, the minimum average cost is over $100,000 and rising.
For many would be parents, that’s enough to swear off children but with reasonable planning, the costs shouldn’t dissuade you from the joy and commitment that parenthood brings.
Cost is always a concern but with reasonable planning and a few corner-cutting tips, you can survive a child or three. Heck, my father spent every night until he was 18 months old in a dresser drawer… and he ended up 6’3”!
I know that when you’re a new parent, you want the best of everything for your child but fortunately for you, babies and toddlers are pretty dumb. They haven’t learned that an adjustable bassinette with 18 different height and softness settings is any different than a thrift store reject. Rashes notwithstanding, as long as you avoid sandpaper, the cheapest tissue wipes will be fine. They don’t need birthdays gifts on their first birthday and as for clothing, boys don’t care what they wear until about age 14; they don’t even care how it smells. Heck, if you put them in a swimsuit all summer, you won’t have to fold another piece of laundry for them until mid-September. Girls require a little more fashion once they start school but until then, their aunt Flora’s pastel orange hand me downs from 1994 should be fine.
By far, the largest cost of raising a child in today’s world is the cost of daily child care. Across the nation, the average annual costs of child care for a toddler (child over 2) ranges from $14,000 in South Dakota to $27,000 in Connecticut [2]. Obviously, the best alternative for most mothers and / or fathers is to stay at home and care for your child. After all, nobody is going to raise your child better than you. However, due to work obligations, that’s not always possible. In order to reduce the costs of day care, there are some options to consider:
1) Try to work from home. In an era where 22% of the workforce works full time from their own home [3], try to arrange your schedule where you can eliminate day care altogether or on a part time basis. 66% of workers do work from home part time so perhaps you can reduce child care costs by working from home two days per week?
2) If you’re in a two parent household, try to arrange your work schedules to coordinate care.
3) Relatives and friends might be a good source for day care. You could also set up sort of a co-op with other friends with children to share in their overall day care.
4) In a two parent household, perhaps it makes sense for one parent to quit their job and become a full time caretaker? If the lower earning partner earns $45,000 per year and you’re paying $20,000 for child care, does it make sense to continue working? Compute your net wages by adding any health benefits and 401k match to your salary and then subtract payroll & income taxes (est. 20%) and any commute, meal, or clothing costs from your wages and compare that to the cost of child care. In this case, $45,000 plus $3,000 less 20% taxes and $2,500 in expenses yields $36,500. Now you have to decide if the difference of $16,000 is worth continued employment? It’s a complex decision so check out the “working vs stay home” calculators on the web for more detail.
5) Check with your employer to see if you can apply for the $5,000 Dependent Care Plan, where you receive a tax free credit deducted from your paycheck for day care expenses.
6) If you’re a single parent, I really feel for you but you can explore taxpayer assistance by receiving a tax credit through the Child and Dependent Care Credit IRS form 2441 ($1,050 per child, $2,100 maximum), federal assistance through the Child Care and Development Fund (“CCDF”), and, if you are or were in the military, you may qualify for additional financial aid.
Raising a child is not always easy but it is always rewarding. Having children changes your priorities in so many ways. There will be times when you ecstatically share in their accomplishments and other times where their “achievements” require discipline. There will be times when their short-term emotions conflict with your long-term experience but just remember, they are very impressionable so when they’re young, have them repeat the following, “I will take care of my parents when they’re old.” That should even out things.